Waaaahhhh!

Dear Diary,
What's happening with the universe? When I looked out my window this morning, the sky was black as the minister's veil. Impenetrable. I was deeply disturbed by this apparent wrinkle in reality, but I had no idea of the extent to which time and space has been altered.
I should have been warned by the fact that I did not awake when my alarm clock sounded this morning. This has never happened to me before, but I managed to sleep through it for quite some time. The beep, beep, beep was a distant irritant to my unconscious and oneiric state. I was lost in a world of vague and disproportionate shapes and dark movements. I could easily have been somewhere on the dark side of the moon. This first indicator that something was wrong more or less escaped me due to the fact that I was not aware of anything, much less shifts in reality.
Next, I stumbled out of bed and banged my leg on either my bed or my desk. This led me to erupt in a flood of expletives, but it also shocked me. My room is far too large for a stumble to have caused me to bruise myself, yet suddenly, I could barely fit between the desk and the bed. I considered the possibility that I had journeyed to the kitchen in a dreamy stupor, eating everything available and changing my own physical form, but my pants still fit, so it couldn't be. I can't explain these phenomena, but I will say this: something is not right, something is quite wrong. My intention is to go back to sleep and hopefully awake in the right dimension. I would write more about the strange happenings, but I fear the computer will talk back to me or something of that nature...it's been an unfathomable day.
Confused and Distraught,
Bizarro-Me