Dear Diary,
My whole life I've been wholesome, Miss Goody-goody, do no wrong blablafreakinbla. I spent the past few years in the metropolis of NYC, feeling like the absolute least fabulous person because, um, hello? I'm not interesting and definitely not bad-ass. See? Who the hell puts a hyphen in badass? Me, that's who. I worked in Harlem, always miserable because everyone there was much harder than me. Even the grandmas. Even the dogs. Even the chorizos being sold. Sooo pathetic. But I studied my surroundings in case the day should come that I could make people believe that I was not to be trifled with. and it's here, baby, it's finally here.
I'm in the middle of nowhere in this tiny town where no one is hard. I haven't seen a booty for miles around. I've got the only one. I've got a lock on the "don't mess with her" market. They're never gonna know that I'm the biggest loser ever to put my name on a gold chain. So now I put a bounce in my step, some attitude in my voice and I'm good to go. I'm not gonna overdo it, though, no worries. I got shit locked down. I'ma do what I do, aight?
Better believe it.
comin straight outta p-mac
representin the 301
listen up, takes notes,
my disciples when i'm done
time to feel my flow
following my game
blow by blow
no instant replay
no slo-mo
just jigga jigga me
and my rhymes
better pick ya poison
better pick ya crime
cuz theres no tomorrow
...
(to order the cd with my smooth navigation
from outta this foreign nation
gimme your cc info
and you
can be amongst the chosen few
who get to call me cee-lo)
5 comments:
I have to say, out of all my posts, this is the only one that I am seriously embarassed by, but since I was asked to do it, here it is. Glory to the dorks the world over. Just call me Wonderbread.
Tu mir bitte kurz einen Gefallen, ok? Machst du mit? super! Also: stell dir einen riesen großen Roboter vor. So einen der Sprechen kann. Also der Roboter hat eine Stimme, so eine typische, tiefe Roboterstimme. Kannst du sie dir vorstellen? im Kopf? ok gut. Dann halt daran fest, und lies in dieser Stimme folgendes:
You-Are-A-Huge-Nerd
I want you to know you really hurt me. That's all I have to say about that. Oh yeah, and OBVIOUSLY.
Well people might think that you are a big huge mega nerd, but in case it makes you feel any better: you still impress me!!! (and yes I realize that I am not making you look ANY better)
Thank you Miss B, for making sure that I fully understand just how big of a nerd people consider me to be.
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