Humiliated

Dear Diary,
Today began as any other day, but then I guess most days of defeat do. I was walking along, listening to my music, feeling the vibe, feeling fantastic, feeling like one of the girls at the beginning of the Cameron Diaz "girls can be gross too"movie, you know, when she's walking up the hills in San Francisco, shaking her non-existent booty to burn off the burger she ate for lunch cos otherwise it will result in a hideous gaining of weight, except that, OH YEAH!, she doesn't gain weight?
Wait, what was I talking about? Ah, I was doing my best to work it down the pedestrian zone, when I came to a slight incline.
I started walking up the hill when I noticed this woman with a broken leg, sitting in an electric wheelchair, pulling a suitcase behind her. AND SHE WAS BEATING ME UP THE HILL. So I started to pick up the pace because I was not about to let Miss Battery Pack show me up. But it must have been a big battery cos it was taking a lot out of me. But I dug deep, thought back to those inspiring passages in Lance Armstrong's memoirs and stayed focused and pressed on. But the hill wasn't coming to its crest, and she wasn't slowing down. I didn't want everyone to notice that I was racing the injured woman, but, on the other hand, I didn't want to lose the race either. So I practically started running up the hill for no reason, right next to this woman in the wheelchair. Then, these girls were walking next to each other talking, and walking around them would really have cost me some time, so I just pushed right between girl 2 and girl 3, no time for "excuse me"s.
Then, there was this man selling those remote-controlled cars, which he was demonstrating right in my path, so I thought about that movie with the hurdles and did one of those awesome, "my legs are almost in a split" leaps over it. I was almost at the top and could smell the victory (haha electro-girl, how you like me now?), smiling and congratulating myself when a small child ambled into my way. I considered just knocking him over, but my humanity won out, and I ran around him. But the detour had given her the edge back and I was forced to dive for the top of the hill. Diving against gravity onto cobblestones? Not advisable. She won. She won a race she didn't know she was in with a broken leg. And I, for seemingly no reason, had just thrown myself on the ground in the middle of town and was bleeding and scraped up all over my face. Idiot, idiot, idiot,idiot, idiot, idiot,idiot, idiot, idiot...
That's all.
--InsaneCompetitor