I shower, therefore I think

Dear Diary,

I am clean and refreshed and feeling very impressed with my intellectual and philosophical capacities. Why, you ask? Simply because I have just emerged from the life-affirming and spirit-rejuvenating experience we so take for granted and thoughtlessly refer to as THE SHOWER.
Every single time I step out of that little confessional and sole haven, I feel that I have worked through things that even the most expensive therapy would not reach. It is the last surviving place where I have no distractions--TV, reading material, conversation... Thus, my mind is free to wander and explore its own depths.
I am so enamored of the power of the shower that I was beginning to think that world leaders should spend more time in that miraculous solution booth. Perhaps they could be required to take showers prior to any important meeting or diplomatic negotiation. It is my experience that even a quick shower offers unexpected insight into the navigation of daily life and even chaotic crises.
My plan was ruined, however, when I realized that the power cannot be harnessed and manipulated. In fact, I have often paused when writing a paper or contemplating something challenging and relocated to the shower. Once there, unfailingly, my mind begins to stray from the consideration of the desired problem to another, underlying trouble I am facing.
Thus, we cannot use the power of the shower; we must simple learn to enjoy the ride it takes us on.

Thought-provokingly cleansed,
Hygiene enthusiast