Today, or yesterday, depending on when I finally post this, is Angi's birthday. What does this mean you ask? A wonderful, albeit short, reprieve from her reminders that her birthday is coming (which begins about a month prior to the 26th)...But also that she should be somewhere celebrating and indulging in youthful indiscretion. So, I plan to think of her this weekend, while I celebrate Alizah's birthday with her! So to two very fantastic chicas: Happy 22nd!!
Smooches,
C.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Can't eat cos your hands smell? Boy, have I got something for YOU!!
Dear easily amused readers,
If you're like me, you love to eat out, but you hate having to find a good restaurant. Moreover, you like to wash your hands before dining, but hate it when your hands smell like nasty hospital soap. It's not appetizing, right? Well, if you need help overcoming these and many more issues faced by the average restaurant patron, LOOK NO FURTHER!!!! NaViCa is here for YOU!!!
But wait, there's more--you will find out about the quality of the food, decor, prices, whether you can whisper, is it a date place?, are the seats comfy? and all the pressing questions in our lives today at:
http://NaViCa.blogspot.com
Or you can always use the link on the right side of this page.
Yours Sincerely,
CM
(up-and-coming food and restaurant reviewer/expert/all-powerful dining Deity...)
If you're like me, you love to eat out, but you hate having to find a good restaurant. Moreover, you like to wash your hands before dining, but hate it when your hands smell like nasty hospital soap. It's not appetizing, right? Well, if you need help overcoming these and many more issues faced by the average restaurant patron, LOOK NO FURTHER!!!! NaViCa is here for YOU!!!
But wait, there's more--you will find out about the quality of the food, decor, prices, whether you can whisper, is it a date place?, are the seats comfy? and all the pressing questions in our lives today at:
http://NaViCa.blogspot.com
Or you can always use the link on the right side of this page.
Yours Sincerely,
CM
(up-and-coming food and restaurant reviewer/expert/all-powerful dining Deity...)
Porcupine's are taking over...
Dear Diary...
Who knew that porcupines were such popular animals? Over the past few days, porcupines have been invading my world. First of all, I was watching Conan, and there was one of those animal expert dudes (who for whatever reason never seem to know anything about their animals). The guy had a porcupine with him and explained that if you pet them a certain way, the porcs (why not?) are quite soft, but if you are pricked by one, it can mean death. No, seriously. You will die. (If you fail to remove said porc before the stuff enters your bloodstream) So that was my first encounter withthe porcupine this weekend.
Then, I went to the zoo and saw some. Granted, it's the zoo, so who's surprised, right? I mean, the porcupine should have been more insulted than I was that I was invading its life.
But when I saw a human porcupine, I knew it was all over.
I was at a party, when suddenly a friend pointed out to me that one of the males had clearly been cross-bred with a porcupine. His black hair was sticking up in such clearly porc descendant deadly and poisonous weapons that I immediately feared for my life. Nonetheless, as it turned out, the procupine/human was a German guy with a fetish for extremely hard and spikey hair. What's with all of the gel, boys? I bet half of the gel economy is based on the market in Germany. No joke.
Just keeping you updated on the goings-on of my porcupine filled days.
(BTW, I did manage to mess up his hair and discovered that instead of venom, the porcuguy had regular strands of hair that could be separated...I never cease to be amazed.)
Signed,
AnimalEnthusiast
Sidenote--I learned a new song at the zoo. It goes like this: (Hit it, boys!)
" H-I-P for the hi-ii-p,
P-O-P-O for the hip-popo,
T-A for the tay,
M-U-S for the hip-popo-tay-mus,
(spoken quickly) ay-hippo, ay-hippopo!"
Nice, right? Now you know how to spell hippopotamus.
Who knew that porcupines were such popular animals? Over the past few days, porcupines have been invading my world. First of all, I was watching Conan, and there was one of those animal expert dudes (who for whatever reason never seem to know anything about their animals). The guy had a porcupine with him and explained that if you pet them a certain way, the porcs (why not?) are quite soft, but if you are pricked by one, it can mean death. No, seriously. You will die. (If you fail to remove said porc before the stuff enters your bloodstream) So that was my first encounter withthe porcupine this weekend.
Then, I went to the zoo and saw some. Granted, it's the zoo, so who's surprised, right? I mean, the porcupine should have been more insulted than I was that I was invading its life.
But when I saw a human porcupine, I knew it was all over.
I was at a party, when suddenly a friend pointed out to me that one of the males had clearly been cross-bred with a porcupine. His black hair was sticking up in such clearly porc descendant deadly and poisonous weapons that I immediately feared for my life. Nonetheless, as it turned out, the procupine/human was a German guy with a fetish for extremely hard and spikey hair. What's with all of the gel, boys? I bet half of the gel economy is based on the market in Germany. No joke.
Just keeping you updated on the goings-on of my porcupine filled days.
(BTW, I did manage to mess up his hair and discovered that instead of venom, the porcuguy had regular strands of hair that could be separated...I never cease to be amazed.)
Signed,
AnimalEnthusiast
Sidenote--I learned a new song at the zoo. It goes like this: (Hit it, boys!)
" H-I-P for the hi-ii-p,
P-O-P-O for the hip-popo,
T-A for the tay,
M-U-S for the hip-popo-tay-mus,
(spoken quickly) ay-hippo, ay-hippopo!"
Nice, right? Now you know how to spell hippopotamus.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
I have a dream---and i hope it ain't comin' true.
Dear Diary,
I am very scared because I just woke up from an extremely disturbing dream. I was hugging a giant penis. And one of my friends was there. What does this mean? Could someone interpret for me? But please, please, please do not apply Freudian theory.
I'm going to try to get back in bed, but I doubt that I will be able to close my eyes.
INsomniac.
I am very scared because I just woke up from an extremely disturbing dream. I was hugging a giant penis. And one of my friends was there. What does this mean? Could someone interpret for me? But please, please, please do not apply Freudian theory.
I'm going to try to get back in bed, but I doubt that I will be able to close my eyes.
INsomniac.
I have confession to make...
To whom it may concern:
i have to get this off my chest. I love to read teeny bopper books. seriously. The Princess Diaries, for example. and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. do you judge me? cos most people do.
english teacher jr.
p.s. there are quite a few more...
i have to get this off my chest. I love to read teeny bopper books. seriously. The Princess Diaries, for example. and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. do you judge me? cos most people do.
english teacher jr.
p.s. there are quite a few more...
Jiggle-Juggle-Jam
Dear Dr. P. Kapfhammer,
I am writing to express to you a few issues that I would like to discuss. First of all, I would like to thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I felt very concerned about my health, and your evaluation was crucial in settling my heart and mind. I had not been taking very good care of my precious body, which I know is my temple, but I haven't been very conscious of it. My friend, who is in a little Bungalow-hut on an island in Southern Thailand, has asked me to join her. She makes me very nervous because she is this phenomenal yoga-practicing, lizard-hunting (they sound like dogs), monastery-visiting, non-compliant (with respect to taking pictures of lizards barking in her bed), international friend who is totally going to show me up by being way cooler than me. Perhaps I am revealing too much about my personal life, but then again, you've seen me naked. Which brings me to my next point:
I did not think that it was right that you chose to make me expose myself in that way. I understand that I had to remove my clothes in order for you to conduct the EKG, but to make me ride a bicycle naked was simply cruel. I did not feel that those little suction cups were enough to cover up my breasts, nor did they offer any significant amount of support. The only way to express this humiliation (of my breasts jiggling about) is to say that I have had horrific dreams about it since then. PLUS my friends have been making fun of me incessantly.
MOREOVER, you should more carefully train and supervise your staff, particularly your nursing staff, as they play a crucial role in the suction cup application process. A specific nurse, I believe her name was Betty (she was blonde), managed to apply one of the cups to my right nipple. Then, she proceeded to remove it rather roughly and unapologetically. I would only like to inform you that my nipple is in a great deal of pain.
In short, I really feel that you should find another way to go about collecting EKG readings: One which does not include braless bicycling and imprecise suctioning.
Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Ms. X
I am writing to express to you a few issues that I would like to discuss. First of all, I would like to thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I felt very concerned about my health, and your evaluation was crucial in settling my heart and mind. I had not been taking very good care of my precious body, which I know is my temple, but I haven't been very conscious of it. My friend, who is in a little Bungalow-hut on an island in Southern Thailand, has asked me to join her. She makes me very nervous because she is this phenomenal yoga-practicing, lizard-hunting (they sound like dogs), monastery-visiting, non-compliant (with respect to taking pictures of lizards barking in her bed), international friend who is totally going to show me up by being way cooler than me. Perhaps I am revealing too much about my personal life, but then again, you've seen me naked. Which brings me to my next point:
I did not think that it was right that you chose to make me expose myself in that way. I understand that I had to remove my clothes in order for you to conduct the EKG, but to make me ride a bicycle naked was simply cruel. I did not feel that those little suction cups were enough to cover up my breasts, nor did they offer any significant amount of support. The only way to express this humiliation (of my breasts jiggling about) is to say that I have had horrific dreams about it since then. PLUS my friends have been making fun of me incessantly.
MOREOVER, you should more carefully train and supervise your staff, particularly your nursing staff, as they play a crucial role in the suction cup application process. A specific nurse, I believe her name was Betty (she was blonde), managed to apply one of the cups to my right nipple. Then, she proceeded to remove it rather roughly and unapologetically. I would only like to inform you that my nipple is in a great deal of pain.
In short, I really feel that you should find another way to go about collecting EKG readings: One which does not include braless bicycling and imprecise suctioning.
Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Ms. X
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