Dear Diary,
Well, now I've really done it. I took three aspirins within a six hour period. This is not good. I had a really bad headache, so OBVIOUSLY I wasn't in the mood to read the label. Now I have and let me say this: I should have taken the time to read before ingesting this lethal dose. Who knew the serious side effects of some headache medicine. I mean, maybe a little bit of nausea or fatigue, but not death?! Liver failure?! Heart failure?! Possibility of entering comatose or vegetative state?! What the?!!! I cannot believe this. Granted, my head feels better, but I mean, maybe your head does feel better before a major psychotic break. Damn. My sister always told me to read the directions and/or label, but did I listen? No. I have a history, you know. I never do the patch test before dyeing my hair. I never look at what my shampoo says. I don't bother to read the directions on the spaghetti package. I don't look at how to use toothpaste properly, which BY THE WAY is dangerous if you swallow more than a pea sized amount. Ok, my stomach feels like its rotting. Oh god. What the hell am I doing? I should have called a doctor. Maybe they can pump my stomach. Cause you know I'm not gonna do a self-pump. Not me. DOCTOR. or 911? I'll figure it out.
--MigraineFreeButPossiblyDamaged
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Curved, straight, thick, thin...
Dear Diary,
What do my eyebrows say about me? According to my beauty guru, eyebrows are a key component in understanding a person's perspective and attitude. For example, if your eyebrows are thick, then you want to be taken very seriously and tend to be argumentative. On the other hand, the length of your eyebrow across your eye indicates your level of kindness. If they are short, you are not prone to selfless acts--you tend to assess the potential for personal gain before entering into any favors etc.
Anyway, my eyes have been opened to the incredible importance of my eyebrows! Meanwhile, I have been so ignorant my whole life. Who knows what impression people have gotten. I intend to rectify this situation immediately. In fact, I've already begun the process. For the past hour I've been intently staring into the mirror. I've come to the conclusion that I need adjustments in the following areas: thickness, length, curve, color, length of hairs and shape of the "tail" (the portion at the end of the eyebrow, including the angle toward the hairline).
So, now I want to have my eyebrows tell people that I am open, honest, friendly, professional, funny, kind, diplomatic, fair and loving. Even if it's not quite true. I definitely don't want people to think I'm a pennypincher or something like that.
I have the necessary tools: tweezers with different tips, grips and metals. In addition, I have waxes, creams, and some weird hair removal systems called "balls" or "testes" or some other ridiculous name. I also have eyebrow dye, pencil, a small scissors, and a diagram that will help me accent my browbone.
Man, I don't know why I'm making this entry in the middle of such a serious crisis. I've cut out pictures of celebrities whose eyebrows give the proper introduction and will use them to help me sculpt my new look. Now it's time to get down to business. I will lock myself in my bathroom and WILL NOT reemerge until this matter has been settled. I just hope I don't pluck too much or get a cramp. Either way, I'm powering through.
Wish me luck!
Sincerely,
TheFormerlyMisrepresentedMe
What do my eyebrows say about me? According to my beauty guru, eyebrows are a key component in understanding a person's perspective and attitude. For example, if your eyebrows are thick, then you want to be taken very seriously and tend to be argumentative. On the other hand, the length of your eyebrow across your eye indicates your level of kindness. If they are short, you are not prone to selfless acts--you tend to assess the potential for personal gain before entering into any favors etc.
Anyway, my eyes have been opened to the incredible importance of my eyebrows! Meanwhile, I have been so ignorant my whole life. Who knows what impression people have gotten. I intend to rectify this situation immediately. In fact, I've already begun the process. For the past hour I've been intently staring into the mirror. I've come to the conclusion that I need adjustments in the following areas: thickness, length, curve, color, length of hairs and shape of the "tail" (the portion at the end of the eyebrow, including the angle toward the hairline).
So, now I want to have my eyebrows tell people that I am open, honest, friendly, professional, funny, kind, diplomatic, fair and loving. Even if it's not quite true. I definitely don't want people to think I'm a pennypincher or something like that.
I have the necessary tools: tweezers with different tips, grips and metals. In addition, I have waxes, creams, and some weird hair removal systems called "balls" or "testes" or some other ridiculous name. I also have eyebrow dye, pencil, a small scissors, and a diagram that will help me accent my browbone.
Man, I don't know why I'm making this entry in the middle of such a serious crisis. I've cut out pictures of celebrities whose eyebrows give the proper introduction and will use them to help me sculpt my new look. Now it's time to get down to business. I will lock myself in my bathroom and WILL NOT reemerge until this matter has been settled. I just hope I don't pluck too much or get a cramp. Either way, I'm powering through.
Wish me luck!
Sincerely,
TheFormerlyMisrepresentedMe
fashion magazine quiz...
Dear Diary,
Am I boring in bed? That's what my favorite fashion magazine thinks. Until I read all about the Bliss of Bad Bedroom Behavior, I thought I was actually pretty decent. You know, maybe not Angelina Jolie, but not boring. Oh, god. BORING?!! What kind of love death sentence is that? I don't know, but I've already begun trying to remedy the situation. First of all, I rented the recommended "sizzlin' hot" movies. I've been studying them: slo-mo, backwards, frame by frame, at an accelerated pace, while drunk, while working with a doll to simulate motions, I took notes, made sketches....you name it. So, I think I must have gotten something from that.
Step 2: I started doing yoga for four hours a day to "increase my stability, stamina and to make me bendy."
Next, I bought a whole stockpile of porn, to "keep my man going like a cowboy at the rodeo." Then, I bought all kinds of flavored lubes and outfits and toys and....I don't know. I'm not sure which are outfits and which are toys, but I guess I'll figure it out.
This better help...
Do you think I should buy that swing? Or that pad? Plastic sheets? Liquid Latex? There are so many options.
Now all I have to do is find someone to sleep with me...
Worried,
YourMadame
(P.S. Do you think that sounds too mean? Should I go with something else? I have to get this right!!)
Am I boring in bed? That's what my favorite fashion magazine thinks. Until I read all about the Bliss of Bad Bedroom Behavior, I thought I was actually pretty decent. You know, maybe not Angelina Jolie, but not boring. Oh, god. BORING?!! What kind of love death sentence is that? I don't know, but I've already begun trying to remedy the situation. First of all, I rented the recommended "sizzlin' hot" movies. I've been studying them: slo-mo, backwards, frame by frame, at an accelerated pace, while drunk, while working with a doll to simulate motions, I took notes, made sketches....you name it. So, I think I must have gotten something from that.
Step 2: I started doing yoga for four hours a day to "increase my stability, stamina and to make me bendy."
Next, I bought a whole stockpile of porn, to "keep my man going like a cowboy at the rodeo." Then, I bought all kinds of flavored lubes and outfits and toys and....I don't know. I'm not sure which are outfits and which are toys, but I guess I'll figure it out.
This better help...
Do you think I should buy that swing? Or that pad? Plastic sheets? Liquid Latex? There are so many options.
Now all I have to do is find someone to sleep with me...
Worried,
YourMadame
(P.S. Do you think that sounds too mean? Should I go with something else? I have to get this right!!)
The Am I series continued...
Dear Diary,
Am I psychic? Today I thought about eating a cheese sandwich and I did.
Spooked,
MadameClare
Am I psychic? Today I thought about eating a cheese sandwich and I did.
Spooked,
MadameClare
am i a feminist?
Dear Diary,
Am I a feminist? I realized today that I very rarely wear skirts. In fact, I don't know if I even own a skirt. Also, I am easily annoyed by stupid people, particularly chauvinist men and ridiculous women. What does this all mean? Oh no! I've been thinking this over quite seriously now for at least ten minutes, and I'm pretty sure that I often open doors for men. I never really thought about it before, but maybe it's a sign that I am asserting my control and independence. Oh no.....I also insist on paying for things a lot of the time. I don't know what to make of this. Am I a lesbian? I do think that Charlize Theron is very pretty, looks perfect in evening wear and I have admired her statuesque figure. Diary, please help me answer these questions!!!
Forlorn,
WomankindProponent?
Am I a feminist? I realized today that I very rarely wear skirts. In fact, I don't know if I even own a skirt. Also, I am easily annoyed by stupid people, particularly chauvinist men and ridiculous women. What does this all mean? Oh no! I've been thinking this over quite seriously now for at least ten minutes, and I'm pretty sure that I often open doors for men. I never really thought about it before, but maybe it's a sign that I am asserting my control and independence. Oh no.....I also insist on paying for things a lot of the time. I don't know what to make of this. Am I a lesbian? I do think that Charlize Theron is very pretty, looks perfect in evening wear and I have admired her statuesque figure. Diary, please help me answer these questions!!!
Forlorn,
WomankindProponent?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
This one's to cheer up Alizah!
Dear Diary....
I have been waiting for 3 weeks now. I understand that he's busy. I get that. But, I mean, seriously, it's about time for a reply. I sent my letter almost a month ago. Plus, I sent it overnight priority to make sure he got it. So it couldn't have been lost in the mail or something like that? But how else can I explain it? There must be some answer.
Ok, so I realize that the great G.C. is pretty occupied with his career and travels and fabulousness, but I think I made it clear how much I love him. It was, after all, a 30 page handwritten declaration of my undying, neverending, burning throughout my being, increasing with my every breath, echoing through my every thought, all-consuming love. NOT INFATUATION, despite what some of my less supportive friends might think. I can just tell when I look into his eyes that we were meant to be together. There's something about him that reassures me of our bond every time he's interviewed. Oh, Georgy, why do you torture me so? Maybe he's flying out to see me and wants it to be a surprise. That would be amazing. That's gotta be the answer, right? There's no other plausible explanation. UNLESS, he is currently shopping for an engagement ring to present to me when we meet. But I don't know. It's going to take a face-to-face meeting to convince the great Clooney to end his bachelor days and begin our life together. When he looks into my eyes and our souls mingle, he'll know it, though. Mrs. George Clooney. We'll be married in his beautiful villa on Lake Como. Well, I guess then it will be our villa. Ah, Italy.
So where the hell is his damn letter?!!!???!?!?!?
Patience is a virtue, true love will come to those who wait...
I just hope that I don't begin losing faith.
Until I receive an answer, I will continue scrapbooking and making digital photos of us and planning the wedding and thinking of names for our children and decorating the house we'll be buying on the Greek Isles....
I can wait for paradise!
With breath that is bated,
the futureMrs.GeorgeClooney
I have been waiting for 3 weeks now. I understand that he's busy. I get that. But, I mean, seriously, it's about time for a reply. I sent my letter almost a month ago. Plus, I sent it overnight priority to make sure he got it. So it couldn't have been lost in the mail or something like that? But how else can I explain it? There must be some answer.
Ok, so I realize that the great G.C. is pretty occupied with his career and travels and fabulousness, but I think I made it clear how much I love him. It was, after all, a 30 page handwritten declaration of my undying, neverending, burning throughout my being, increasing with my every breath, echoing through my every thought, all-consuming love. NOT INFATUATION, despite what some of my less supportive friends might think. I can just tell when I look into his eyes that we were meant to be together. There's something about him that reassures me of our bond every time he's interviewed. Oh, Georgy, why do you torture me so? Maybe he's flying out to see me and wants it to be a surprise. That would be amazing. That's gotta be the answer, right? There's no other plausible explanation. UNLESS, he is currently shopping for an engagement ring to present to me when we meet. But I don't know. It's going to take a face-to-face meeting to convince the great Clooney to end his bachelor days and begin our life together. When he looks into my eyes and our souls mingle, he'll know it, though. Mrs. George Clooney. We'll be married in his beautiful villa on Lake Como. Well, I guess then it will be our villa. Ah, Italy.
So where the hell is his damn letter?!!!???!?!?!?
Patience is a virtue, true love will come to those who wait...
I just hope that I don't begin losing faith.
Until I receive an answer, I will continue scrapbooking and making digital photos of us and planning the wedding and thinking of names for our children and decorating the house we'll be buying on the Greek Isles....
I can wait for paradise!
With breath that is bated,
the futureMrs.GeorgeClooney
Thursday, December 01, 2005
it's such a mess
Dear Diary,
It's incredible. The stress, the insanity of it all! My poor baby. She doesn't fully realize the weight that's resting on her shoulders. Little Princess Glamour is sleeping peacefully on her velvet pillow while her Mommy is desperately trying 2 decide between the ballerina costume a la BitBit and the angel wings a la Tyra. It's so confusing. I mean, the fluff of the ballerina costume is unbelievably cute, but at the same time, HELLO!! I do not want Little Princess Glamour 2 look like a copycat. She's as original as they come. Right down 2 her perfectly manicured nails (I had them spell out the name of her favorite TV channels: BRAVODOG and ANMLPLNT, sooooo cute). NEway, I just want everything 2 be purrrfect. The angel wings are really sweet, but sometimes they slip off when she's walking and what if that happens during her runway show? I know they deduct serious points 4 wardrobe malfunctions. We DO NOT need another J.J. incident...besides, I don't want my baby exposed 4 the world 2 see. Oh gosh, if there just weren't so much riding on 2morrow's show. But if she doesn't win this one, she won't have the creds 2 get into the doggy day care summer camp (Peaceful Paws & Doga) I have picked out. Luckily, I did manage to wrangle an appointment with the puppy masseuse 4 2morrow, and I do have her evening gown and swim suit picked out. PLUS, she learned how 2 walk in her puppy heels on 2 paws, so she really is set. But what 2 do about the costume?????!!!!
Painfully Yours,
LittlePrincessGlamourSquad
It's incredible. The stress, the insanity of it all! My poor baby. She doesn't fully realize the weight that's resting on her shoulders. Little Princess Glamour is sleeping peacefully on her velvet pillow while her Mommy is desperately trying 2 decide between the ballerina costume a la BitBit and the angel wings a la Tyra. It's so confusing. I mean, the fluff of the ballerina costume is unbelievably cute, but at the same time, HELLO!! I do not want Little Princess Glamour 2 look like a copycat. She's as original as they come. Right down 2 her perfectly manicured nails (I had them spell out the name of her favorite TV channels: BRAVODOG and ANMLPLNT, sooooo cute). NEway, I just want everything 2 be purrrfect. The angel wings are really sweet, but sometimes they slip off when she's walking and what if that happens during her runway show? I know they deduct serious points 4 wardrobe malfunctions. We DO NOT need another J.J. incident...besides, I don't want my baby exposed 4 the world 2 see. Oh gosh, if there just weren't so much riding on 2morrow's show. But if she doesn't win this one, she won't have the creds 2 get into the doggy day care summer camp (Peaceful Paws & Doga) I have picked out. Luckily, I did manage to wrangle an appointment with the puppy masseuse 4 2morrow, and I do have her evening gown and swim suit picked out. PLUS, she learned how 2 walk in her puppy heels on 2 paws, so she really is set. But what 2 do about the costume?????!!!!
Painfully Yours,
LittlePrincessGlamourSquad
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
help!
Dear Diary!!!!
I don't know what I'm going to do. I have 23 minutes left before something awful happens to me. Let me explain:
22 minutes ago I received an email from someone. I opened it up and it had a bunch of stories about people who sent the email on and were immediately rewarded. BUT then I saw that there were stories about people who didn't send the email on, and they suffered for it. Ok, but the big problem is this: I sent this email to everyone I know, but I still need to send it to five more, or I will be severely punished. What should I do? I'm so scared...I feel like that poor girl in the blair witch movie with the noseboogies. That's how scared I am. Oh NO! Now I'm down to 15 minutes.
14 minutes...
I think I'm going to search the net for random email addresses. Does that count? I hope so.
Ok, well, I'd better start-there isn't much time left. If this doesn't work out, I'm sorry diary, but I'll be under my bed until whatever happens happens.
It's been really great!
CyberBeliever
I don't know what I'm going to do. I have 23 minutes left before something awful happens to me. Let me explain:
22 minutes ago I received an email from someone. I opened it up and it had a bunch of stories about people who sent the email on and were immediately rewarded. BUT then I saw that there were stories about people who didn't send the email on, and they suffered for it. Ok, but the big problem is this: I sent this email to everyone I know, but I still need to send it to five more, or I will be severely punished. What should I do? I'm so scared...I feel like that poor girl in the blair witch movie with the noseboogies. That's how scared I am. Oh NO! Now I'm down to 15 minutes.
14 minutes...
I think I'm going to search the net for random email addresses. Does that count? I hope so.
Ok, well, I'd better start-there isn't much time left. If this doesn't work out, I'm sorry diary, but I'll be under my bed until whatever happens happens.
It's been really great!
CyberBeliever
Every night it's the same thing
Ok, so no fiction this time.
Every single night, i do the same thing to myself. i stay up way too late either actually doing work, or what's more likely, doing everything but. either way, the next day i'm exhausted and fantasizing about napping. that's pretty pathetic, i think. i feel like i'm either a really old lady or a five year old. i seriously need a nap time just to make it through. vicious cycle, i know, but i can't help myself. and it's not even finals time yet, which is when it gets really bad.
one positive note: i have essentially finished my christmas shopping, which is the one thing in my life i can lord over everyone. ( the real reason i can drive people nuts is that i've been done since early november)
ok, so, i accept all forms of pity for being completely, insanely immature and stupid in my sleeping habits. feel free to commiserate.
Every single night, i do the same thing to myself. i stay up way too late either actually doing work, or what's more likely, doing everything but. either way, the next day i'm exhausted and fantasizing about napping. that's pretty pathetic, i think. i feel like i'm either a really old lady or a five year old. i seriously need a nap time just to make it through. vicious cycle, i know, but i can't help myself. and it's not even finals time yet, which is when it gets really bad.
one positive note: i have essentially finished my christmas shopping, which is the one thing in my life i can lord over everyone. ( the real reason i can drive people nuts is that i've been done since early november)
ok, so, i accept all forms of pity for being completely, insanely immature and stupid in my sleeping habits. feel free to commiserate.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Waaaahhhh!
Dear Diary,
What's happening with the universe? When I looked out my window this morning, the sky was black as the minister's veil. Impenetrable. I was deeply disturbed by this apparent wrinkle in reality, but I had no idea of the extent to which time and space has been altered.
I should have been warned by the fact that I did not awake when my alarm clock sounded this morning. This has never happened to me before, but I managed to sleep through it for quite some time. The beep, beep, beep was a distant irritant to my unconscious and oneiric state. I was lost in a world of vague and disproportionate shapes and dark movements. I could easily have been somewhere on the dark side of the moon. This first indicator that something was wrong more or less escaped me due to the fact that I was not aware of anything, much less shifts in reality.
Next, I stumbled out of bed and banged my leg on either my bed or my desk. This led me to erupt in a flood of expletives, but it also shocked me. My room is far too large for a stumble to have caused me to bruise myself, yet suddenly, I could barely fit between the desk and the bed. I considered the possibility that I had journeyed to the kitchen in a dreamy stupor, eating everything available and changing my own physical form, but my pants still fit, so it couldn't be. I can't explain these phenomena, but I will say this: something is not right, something is quite wrong. My intention is to go back to sleep and hopefully awake in the right dimension. I would write more about the strange happenings, but I fear the computer will talk back to me or something of that nature...it's been an unfathomable day.
Confused and Distraught,
Bizarro-Me
What's happening with the universe? When I looked out my window this morning, the sky was black as the minister's veil. Impenetrable. I was deeply disturbed by this apparent wrinkle in reality, but I had no idea of the extent to which time and space has been altered.
I should have been warned by the fact that I did not awake when my alarm clock sounded this morning. This has never happened to me before, but I managed to sleep through it for quite some time. The beep, beep, beep was a distant irritant to my unconscious and oneiric state. I was lost in a world of vague and disproportionate shapes and dark movements. I could easily have been somewhere on the dark side of the moon. This first indicator that something was wrong more or less escaped me due to the fact that I was not aware of anything, much less shifts in reality.
Next, I stumbled out of bed and banged my leg on either my bed or my desk. This led me to erupt in a flood of expletives, but it also shocked me. My room is far too large for a stumble to have caused me to bruise myself, yet suddenly, I could barely fit between the desk and the bed. I considered the possibility that I had journeyed to the kitchen in a dreamy stupor, eating everything available and changing my own physical form, but my pants still fit, so it couldn't be. I can't explain these phenomena, but I will say this: something is not right, something is quite wrong. My intention is to go back to sleep and hopefully awake in the right dimension. I would write more about the strange happenings, but I fear the computer will talk back to me or something of that nature...it's been an unfathomable day.
Confused and Distraught,
Bizarro-Me
Same Difference?
Random question for the nonexistent readers of this blog!
My sister recently asked me about the meaning of this saying...(see title) It's not that we don't understand it, but that it's annoyingly contradictory.
Also, I always hated the Wallflower song with these lyrics:
"The only difference
That I see
Is you are exactly the same
as you used to be..."
Clever or annoying?
What do you think? Any other annoying phrases you want to mention?
My sister recently asked me about the meaning of this saying...(see title) It's not that we don't understand it, but that it's annoyingly contradictory.
Also, I always hated the Wallflower song with these lyrics:
"The only difference
That I see
Is you are exactly the same
as you used to be..."
Clever or annoying?
What do you think? Any other annoying phrases you want to mention?
BRAND NEW INFORMATION
Dear Diary,
Ok, so this is strange. Please do not think I am disgusting. I can't believe this myself, but here it is:
I discovered that most of the people I know pee in the shower when they're in there and they have to go. I was told:
there's no point in wasting water by flushing a toilet/i aim for the drain/what? am i gonna get OUT of the shower to go?/ the water's all going to the same place anyway/ i'm cleaning myself off...
and the list goes on!
So there you have it. Everyone I know does this but me. Pretty strange and deeply disturbing.
Sincerely,
Least Disgusting Person I Know
Ok, so this is strange. Please do not think I am disgusting. I can't believe this myself, but here it is:
I discovered that most of the people I know pee in the shower when they're in there and they have to go. I was told:
there's no point in wasting water by flushing a toilet/i aim for the drain/what? am i gonna get OUT of the shower to go?/ the water's all going to the same place anyway/ i'm cleaning myself off...
and the list goes on!
So there you have it. Everyone I know does this but me. Pretty strange and deeply disturbing.
Sincerely,
Least Disgusting Person I Know
An interesting difference
Dear Diary,
I found out today that some women wear bras to decrease the size of their breasts. Who knew? I always thought that any woman would want to lift 'em up and stick 'em out (provided she's not working out or playing sports). But then my busty friend informed me that it isn't so. Not a push-up but a press-down (don't remember the actual name). I cannot imagine this.
I have been pretty pathetic in the boobular department for most of my life, so it never occured to me that these bras exist. At least not for sizes under 40DDD or something similar. Weird!
Pensively yours,
Braless Wonder or WonderBra
I found out today that some women wear bras to decrease the size of their breasts. Who knew? I always thought that any woman would want to lift 'em up and stick 'em out (provided she's not working out or playing sports). But then my busty friend informed me that it isn't so. Not a push-up but a press-down (don't remember the actual name). I cannot imagine this.
I have been pretty pathetic in the boobular department for most of my life, so it never occured to me that these bras exist. At least not for sizes under 40DDD or something similar. Weird!
Pensively yours,
Braless Wonder or WonderBra
The point of this blog
I really have three reasons for creating this blog...or maybe four.
1- I need a place to release my creative energy
2-I think I may be suffering from blog envy
3-I need something new to distract me from writing papers and general responsibilities: which should PROBABLY be number 1...
4-Eddie told me to.
So, this is all a bunch of fiction from my twisted head, sprinkled with some recognizable reality for those who know me.
Please don't hate the talentless...
1- I need a place to release my creative energy
2-I think I may be suffering from blog envy
3-I need something new to distract me from writing papers and general responsibilities: which should PROBABLY be number 1...
4-Eddie told me to.
So, this is all a bunch of fiction from my twisted head, sprinkled with some recognizable reality for those who know me.
Please don't hate the talentless...
i will not be the smelly kid in class
dear diary,
today, in class, i smelled something kind of gross. i'm not sure if it was me, but if it was, i don't know what i'll do. it smelled like mcdonald's food--but definitely not in a good way.
you know, it's not like i don't wear anti-perspirant. but if i smell anyway, what am i supposed to do? i shower and all, so it can't be a matter of cleanliness..maybe it wasn't me...but that seems kind of unlikely. i wonder if other people noticed and avoided me because of it? oh my god...i don't know what i'll do if i'm the smelly kid in class. you always hear about the stinkerpot, but i don't want to be that person.
i can't believe this. i knew my sister wasn't lying when she said i smell bad. my mom said she was just trying to get to me, but i knew her nose was telling the truth. what if i smell like onions? people do not like smelling onions in your armpit. i can never hug someone again, that's for sure!
kiss on the cheek, but no arm lifting motion--
smellykidinbackrow
today, in class, i smelled something kind of gross. i'm not sure if it was me, but if it was, i don't know what i'll do. it smelled like mcdonald's food--but definitely not in a good way.
you know, it's not like i don't wear anti-perspirant. but if i smell anyway, what am i supposed to do? i shower and all, so it can't be a matter of cleanliness..maybe it wasn't me...but that seems kind of unlikely. i wonder if other people noticed and avoided me because of it? oh my god...i don't know what i'll do if i'm the smelly kid in class. you always hear about the stinkerpot, but i don't want to be that person.
i can't believe this. i knew my sister wasn't lying when she said i smell bad. my mom said she was just trying to get to me, but i knew her nose was telling the truth. what if i smell like onions? people do not like smelling onions in your armpit. i can never hug someone again, that's for sure!
kiss on the cheek, but no arm lifting motion--
smellykidinbackrow
What to do...
Dear Diary,
I can't decide! What should I watch tonight? I'm struggling because I don't have enough VCRs to tape all of my shows. I thought three would be enough, but every channel has something worthwhile. It's really a problem. Why can't they make a VCR or something that tapes multiple shows at one time? I thought of investing in some kind of contraption to record things digitally. But then I realized that I don't have the time: when would I program it? It would interfere with my viewing pleasure. Oh no.
I hear that a lot of new shows are on that are worthwhile. All of the sites online are raving about them. I don't know how to sqeeze it all in. Oh man, oh man.
Ok, so now I realized that while writing I completely missed the beginning of the eight o'clock hour.
Better Go---
TVFAN79-05
I can't decide! What should I watch tonight? I'm struggling because I don't have enough VCRs to tape all of my shows. I thought three would be enough, but every channel has something worthwhile. It's really a problem. Why can't they make a VCR or something that tapes multiple shows at one time? I thought of investing in some kind of contraption to record things digitally. But then I realized that I don't have the time: when would I program it? It would interfere with my viewing pleasure. Oh no.
I hear that a lot of new shows are on that are worthwhile. All of the sites online are raving about them. I don't know how to sqeeze it all in. Oh man, oh man.
Ok, so now I realized that while writing I completely missed the beginning of the eight o'clock hour.
Better Go---
TVFAN79-05
This one's for EG
Dear Diary,
Woof! It was much worse than I expected. First of all, someone farted in the stairway. I mean, they really let one go. I could barely breathe all the way to the top floor, which is horrible, given the climb. Ok, but moving on...
Next, someone in class had the same shoes on as me. More importantly, she was wearing them with a skirt!! Hello-it's, like, 20 degrees out! Who needs to wear a skirt? I think they might have looked better on her if she didn't have those huge feet. They looked like two overinflated rescue boats. Maybe she shouldn't have bought them in neon yellow. The worst part is, she ruined the shoes for me. I think I'm gonna throw them away because they disgust me now.
Oh yeah and can you believe that "someone" thought it would be cool to give my number to Kevin? He keeps calling me: like I'm interested...what is he thinking? Meanwhile, I had a horrible hair day and he actually complimented me on it. Um, excuse me, but I DO NOT need someone to lie to me. I have my friends for that.
Ok, well, I guess I should get back to working on my thesis for my PhD program.
xoxo,
2cool4school
Woof! It was much worse than I expected. First of all, someone farted in the stairway. I mean, they really let one go. I could barely breathe all the way to the top floor, which is horrible, given the climb. Ok, but moving on...
Next, someone in class had the same shoes on as me. More importantly, she was wearing them with a skirt!! Hello-it's, like, 20 degrees out! Who needs to wear a skirt? I think they might have looked better on her if she didn't have those huge feet. They looked like two overinflated rescue boats. Maybe she shouldn't have bought them in neon yellow. The worst part is, she ruined the shoes for me. I think I'm gonna throw them away because they disgust me now.
Oh yeah and can you believe that "someone" thought it would be cool to give my number to Kevin? He keeps calling me: like I'm interested...what is he thinking? Meanwhile, I had a horrible hair day and he actually complimented me on it. Um, excuse me, but I DO NOT need someone to lie to me. I have my friends for that.
Ok, well, I guess I should get back to working on my thesis for my PhD program.
xoxo,
2cool4school
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)